Passionate About Transformational Love
Amanda is a guiding light on the path of Love as a transformational experience.
She fearlessly and courageously offers her raw, vulnerable, and uncensored experiences of love, heartbreak, and recovery for everyone who desires potent love in their life, but is held back by heartbreak, grief, and the invisible blocks that haunt us from our past.
In Summer of 2019, I my life was everything I had prayed it to be.
I was engaged to a successful and well-respected man, I lived in a beautiful multi-million dollar home surrounded by acres of natural land. I had plenty of time for self-care, connecting with friends and family, being of service to my community, and building my six-figure business.
I was teaching at a Psychedelic Festival in Hungary, called O.Z.O.R.A. and met a man who, in minutes, I recognized as my Twin Flame. His face and presence had come to me many times as I sat at my altar, calling in my Beloved. There were powerful omens and immense love flowed through. I was confused and started to wonder what it all might mean to be engaged to someone and so obviously connected to this new but soul-level twin. Before I let myself go into worry, projections and limiting ideas and beliefs, I made the prayer to "Let love take the lead."
I know that true love is kind. True love does no harm. Instead of feeling like I needed to make a choice, I decided to let Love show me the way. When I left Gerwin to fly back to my fiancé in the United States, just four short days after we met, my heart felt ripped from my chest. This was NOT a typical response to having a plutonic (albeit COSMICALLY ALIGNED) interaction for such a short period of time. My fiancé lovingly held space for me and the three of us decided to trust that Love would show us the way. I knew I needed to explore what sort of magic might come from this unexpected and undeniable connection with Gerwin, and got the support from my fiancé to take the journey.
My engagement came to a natural and loving completion just as Gerwin was arriving to visit for the first time. It seemed as though everything we had been doing had been leading us to this moment together. Our hopes, visions, and dreams felt aligned. Gerwin started to weave his music and presence into my ceremonies and the impact was palpable. We knew that we wanted to build a life together and also knew that what we had was intense and would bring up much shadow. Our commitment as we stepped fully into the Journey with Love together, was to be transparent about our joys and challenges. We did a hand-fasting ceremony to seal our commitment to fully dive in together for a year and a day.
Within just a couple of months, my life went into what I call the "Kali Etch-A-Sketch" when everything gets violently shaken up and the slate is wiped clean. The home I was living in as a Steward was put up for sale and I was given 3 months to move out. I'd built my whole business and life around this sacred relationship with this home and this land and there was no clear plan to continue the work I love so dearly and to stay sustainable. My nervous system went into shock. Gerwin was in Austria, but returned to help find a new home and a new life, this time with the intention of building something together.
After I was able to find my way back into my center, I was able to once again come back to the prayer to let Love take the lead. I realized that this was all a gift to help me to step more fully into my own vision for my life, co-created with my beloved. Gerwin arrived to help manifest our new life together. It was exciting, but full of so many unexpected challenges, losses, and threats. It felt like every day there was some new major obstacle thrown in our path. It overwhelmed us both and the ways in which it impacted us, as well as the grief and reality of Gerwin leaving his home in Austria, ultimately lead us to realize that despite the love, the practicality of bringing our lives together just wasn't going to work out. On Summer Solstice, 2019, we ended our partnership and set down our vows.
I was certain it would be months of grieving as my heart, once again, felt ripped out of my chest. But I continued to let Love guide me. First I focused on loving myself, and allowed all of the pain to be a great guide into what parts of myself needed healing and attention. I did my own deep healing, and on Lion's Gate (08/08/2019) had a beautiful final conversation with Gerwin that put my heart back where it belonged. I packed up the things he'd left with the plan to return and live with me. I took them to the post office and mailed them off. As I walked away, my heart felt free and open.
I still anticipated that I would need to be in the "cave" of recovery from such an intense ride. My heart still felt tender and protective and I was certain I couldn't possibly reopen to another for a very long time. But Spirit guided me to allow the possibility of just enjoying myself, so I threw my hat back into the dating ring. I felt trepidation, I felt resistance, but I also trusted that the guidance was good.
Within less than just two weeks, I had started meeting men who embody the Sacred Masculine in a beautiful way that helped me to realize that when we let Love take the lead, it will never let us down and we have access to it all the time.
My commitment and passion is to share with you my continued Journey with Love so that you, too, may find your way back into the expansive, unconditional healing that you deserve and, indeed, hold within you as we go on this Journey with Love together. Now I have a new prayer and if I can allow myself to be present in this moment, now, I find that my life, again, is where I have prayed it to be.
Expertise & Experience
Amanda is an international speaker, shamanic healer and medicine woman, educated with a Master's in Counseling Psychology & Expressive Arts Therapy from California Institute of Integral Studies. She's worked with California Pacific Medical Center, Institute for Health & Healing, and Marin General Hospital using guided imagery and her unique process, "Subconscious Success Repatterning" to help groups, clients and medical patients to heal mental, emotional, spiritual and physical challenges.